Oooooohhh I just have to tell you, “THE BIG BOY IS BACK,” and I’m not talking about my little Tubby Hubby, Wayne; although we have been doing something together that we haven’t been doing in a while because of the colds, and having the gilly whumps, and the headaches, and I don’t know what all else I’ve had this past winter. I suppose one of you blue-haired old Bittys will take what I’m saying out of context and have something to say so go ahead and write in and tell Bobby Stark on me. He’s in Canada fishing anyway, so there. If you do write in it’s because you aren’t, well, you just probably aren’t and that’s it. And you’re probably younger than me at that.
Anyway, the BIG BOY is truly back and I mean Azar’s BIG BOY, not Wayne’s. Bobby Stark took me out to Azar’s to eat one day and I just had to try their famous BIG BOY again to see if it’s still as bad as it was a few years ago when I swore I’d never order another one after I got one that was burnt and the bun was dry.
I sent the thing back and they said they’d bring me another one. The one they brought was worse than the one I had to start with. I know it was different and not just sent back to me again because I took a bite out of it to make sure. The new one was intact but burnt worse than the first. Those had to be the worst BIG BOYS I ever had in my life but that was a few years back and I was sure they must have gotten a new cook by now. I said I’d never eat another one but I did love those BIG BOYS so.
The waitress said that they haven’t changed since they were first served back in the 50’s sometime. I knew better because I’ve nibbled on many a BIG BOY in the back seat of Wayne’s old Plymouth. He and I used to play teenager and buzz Gardner’s and Halls a lot but when I really wanted to mess around with a BIG BOY we always stopped at Azar’s. Of course it was downtown, not here in Waynedale.
Well things certainly have changed since a few years ago. I got the best BIG BOY I’ve had since the 50’s. The hamburger patties were nice and juicy, not burnt. The buns were soft, not dry or grill toasted to oblivion. And the sauce, do you remember the sauce? OOOOOOOHHHHHHH, no other restaurant has a sauce like the BIG BOY sauce. I like my BIG BOY with some of that famous seasoned salt on it also. I could just eat two right, now. I’ve made myself hungry. I’m going to go home and tell Wayne, “I want a BIG BOY tonight.” He’ll be so excited. He remembers.
I wasn’t sure if Azar’s had goofed and served me a good BIG BOY and had forgotten to burn it and serve it on a dry bun. Well, I actually went back with my Tubby Hubby Wayne and we ordered one each. Ooooooooohhh is all I can say once I’ve had a BIG BOY, a decent BIG BOY I mean. Wayne agreed, he said it was the best he’s had in a long time. We’re going to do it again tonight.
Oh and don’t forget to order some of their french fried onion rings. They are good but I don’t think they serve as many rings on a plate as they used to. Onion prices must have gone up. Please Mr. Azar or whoever is running things, throw in a few extra rings. Oh, I almost forgot, make sure you order a piece of their strawberry pie and a bowl of their California Medley soup; it’s pretty darn good, and so is their Chili Spaghetti.
I may just order all of them to go and enjoy a BIG BOY in the privacy of my own bedroom. We do go there and eat in bed sometimes. Of course I have to put a piece of plastic over the bed covers on account of Wayne; he is so messy but I love the little twirp; I have to; that’s my job. Anyway, to get in the mood, I may even have to dig out my old poodle skirt and a scratchy crinoline or two. Wayne loves it when I look like a Bobby Soxer.
I wish the kids in the area would start wearing clothes like they did in the 50’s. Right now most of them look like a bunch of dirty slobs with the crotch of their pants around their knees and their underwear hanging out. Parents, don’t you take any pride at all in the way your kids dress or are you afraid to say, “NO YOU CAN’T,” to them? Oh, well, until next time Taa Taaa.