HOME COUNTRY

When the world dilemma think tank gathered this morning at the philosophy counter, the main topic of conversation was Marvin Pincus’s problem with the county.

The county wanted him to stop counseling people on love and tying flies to go along with it. Well, they didn’t mind the fly tying so much, but the counseling was to stop unless he had a college degree and a business license. There was general outrage and frustration there in the truck stop.

There were solutions to Marvin’s problem suggested, of course. They varied from: 1. Finding something else Marvin could do to enjoy his retirement (from Doc), to 5. Declaring war on the county up to and including seceding (from Jasper Blankenship). Numbers two, three and four weren’t really workable and referred generally to impossible anatomical feats to be performed by certain county employees.

“Marvin’s hearing is next week,” Doc said. “I plan to show up and give them an earful. Ol’ Marve isn’t hurting a soul.”

Dewey hadn’t said much, nursing his coffee and sweet roll. It’s like that sometimes with deep thinkers. It takes time for an idea to ripen, to blossom. Finally, the king of the valley’s one-man fertilizer distribution system smiled.

“Got an idea,” he said. “I’m willing to sacrifice some labor and profits here … for the cause.”

“What’s the idea,” Dud asked.

“What would you think if I donated an entire pickup load of product to the front door of the county building?”

When the laughing died down, Doc said, “I believe I’d bring a shovel and help out.”

“I don’t know,” Jasper said. “I’m not sure they’d think it was out of place there. If I was younger …”

“If you were younger … what?”

“Well, I believe I’d go down and rearrange some county physiognomies.”

He sighed. “But the truth is … I never was as young as I used to be.”

Brought to you by Slim’s new book “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right.”

Learn more at www.nmsantos.com

Slim Randles

Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award.

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Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer